Contradictions

I wonder how much cognitive dissonance can slow you down?  Or am I just looking for excuses?  I need to spend more time on myself - you know, like America's neglected infrastructure and the hidden costs that imposes on our economy and our daily lives, I'm sure that my mental and emotional 'infrastructure' needs attention.

• I purport to like writing yet have only written 2 of a possible 12 short papers in a certain class.  And these are the kind I should like.  Do like.  Just not writing them.
  
• I like languages but I'm not learning any right now. 
  
• I like reading yet I mostly read blogs.  Nothing against blogs.... IOZ's wordsmithing notwithstanding.... but at some point I'm just wasting time.
• I love learning... yet find myself so uncommitted to my studies.
• I thought I was a hardworker but I seem to choose distraction and sleep over actual work.  Today I literally slept through work.  (Well, somewhat sick but still).  Where is my drive?
• Why haven't I learned more about my bicycle?

Meh.  So there's more, I'm sure.  I'm going to buy a journal and spend some time with myself.  Adieu.

Oh, and where can I find a genealogy of ideas?